Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Countdown is on...

For my next chemo on Tuesday. I'm counting down the days, which I shouldn't be doing, but there you go. It's hard not to do it when I'm feeling SOOOOOOO GOOD right now, and after Tuesday I'll feel horrible for about 10 days.

My taste is really returning, too! Buh-bye, food. Oh, well.

At least I know that it'll only take about 2 weeks or so for my taste to return, my face to clear up, my fatigue to fade, my awful heartburn to go away and all of my side effects to start disappearing after my LAST chemo, which is July 18th, THANKYOUVERYMUCH! I CANNOT WAIT.

Also...DRUMROLL...PLEASE...my hair sill start growing back and won't fall out!!!! YES! No more strange looking bald lady running around my house! Now if that isn't something to look forward to, I don't know WHAT is!

I met a woman in Staters the other day (she works there) who asked me if I had breast cancer. She had it 3 years ago, the worst kind. Inflammatory Ductal Carcinoma. And she said when my hair grows back I'll stroke it like a baby kitten, and that's how SOFT it'll be! And she's 3 years cancer-free!! Woo hoo!!! She was a very sweet woman, and I'm happy that I met her.

We're planning an End Of Chemo Party for me after I'm done. A big outdoor celebration. I also can't wait for that. I just have to see how the radiation effects me, first. That'll be going on for about 6 weeks after the chemo ends.

That's about it for this beautiful Wednesday. Other than I did some writing! I reworked my first chapter a bit, and I'm pretty happy with it. I even critiqued t myself to see if there was a value change, goals thwarted and conflict. Go me! Now if I could just get off page 12 and actually start moving! I guess a little bit is better than nothing.

Things I'm grateful for today:
My faith.
Being alive.
My taste returning!
My family.
My upcoming Vegas weekend.
The Cherries, who unburdened me from drowning beneath $7500.00 in medical bills.
My doctors.
And as always, it goes without saying, my family.


Saturday, May 27, 2006

Must Love Dogs...

A great movie, btw.

As I was driving earlier with Kristina, I found myself ooohhhing and ahhhing over an adorable little white dog that was happily sitting on its owners lap in the passenger seat of a car. I realized something. I get so excited and fuss over dogs the way most women fuss over babies. Hmm. Odd, but true.

I LOVE dogs. They truly do make me happy. When I look at Domino, our newest addition (lol, I accidentally typed addiction instead of addition, and it sort of fits) I immediately smile, the way I did when I looked at, Kira. My beloved 13 yo shihtzu who passed on.

I've passed on my love for dogs to my two daughters, and also to John. He is so smitten by Domino, it isn't even funny!

Don't get me wrong. We love Miss Diva, too. She's our little Diva and pretty much the boss of me. It's just that Domino is this little, 10 lb animated thing with Groucho Marx eyes, and a suspicous little nature, and just the funniest personality I've ever seen.

Okay. Addiction or addition. I'll leave that up to you :)

Health update: Feeling pretty darn good today. Lots of energy and I could actually taste raisinets before. All in all, a pretty good day.

Things I'm grateful for today:
Being alive.
My sisters.
The internet.
My love for dogs.
God.

Me...

Here's me in my funky little burgandy wig. I'll have to post some pictures of the real me in my wigs.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Big Cherry Love...

My sister and sil, Jules, both sent me amazing gifts today. Barb sent me a Mary Englebreight crock pot which is soooooooo adorable! I can't wait to use it. The reason behind that is even sweeter. She's coming to stay with me in July for my last treatment, and wants to use it to cook for us. She knows how picky John is, and this way she can make roasts and all kinds of yummy dishes.

And Jules sent me a box of cherry goodies. Adorable cherry slip on sneakers, a cherry purse and a plaque. The plaque is hanging above my desk and is so inspirational.

Courage
Doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is
the quiet voice at
the end of the day
saying,

"I will try again
tomorrow."

::sniffle, sniffle:: I will remember this when I have my next chemo and am being hard on myself for being weak.

Where oh where have my taste buds gone?

I am a foodie. I don't eat to live. I live to eat. And one of the things that chemo has done is to completely wipe out my taste. Blah. I just ate pizza and it tasted like glue. ::sigh:: Thankfully it's temporary, along with the other side effects like my lovely bald head. But still. Just ick. And of course it couldn't wipe out your sense of smell, too. Oh, no. Everything smells just as yummy as always, and then you taste it and it's always a shock.

Oh well. Things can always be worse, right? I truly do know this, and try to never take anything for granted.

Things I'm grateful for today...
Being alive.
My family.
My faith.
My wonderful friends (some of whom I called a writers group in my earlier post, and they are SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT TO ME. They're my sisters.)
My puppers.
Have I mentioned being alive? :)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Vegas or bust, baby!...

First I have to say that yesterday I had my first red blood count booster because I'm anemic now, due to chemo (and have been feeling like death!) and today I feel GREAT for the first time in over a week! I have energy! Energy! I almost forgot what that felt like! Wooo woooo!

And now onto Vegas! One of my all time favorite places, and only 4 hours from home. Me and John are going next Sunday, because if I don't get away for at least a day, I will probably lose my mind. I was first thinking Julian, which I've been longing to go to. It's a quaint little town in the mountains near San Diego. I thought I'd found a great deal on a hotel for only $77.00 for Sunday night. That's all we're staying for, one night. But then I found $44.00 at the Stratosphere in Vegas! Ummm....can you say no brainer? At least for us. Julian doesn't give free alcohol! Another reason I love Vegas. I sit at the slots and barely put any money in, and drink Kahlua and cream. Yumm. And John usually plays $1 blackjack, but now he's become obsessed with Texas Hold 'Em, so that's where he'll be. And luckily our hotel has one of the cheapest poker rooms.

So...for next to nothing I can get away for 24 hours or more, relax and just forget about everything for a while. YEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!

The last time we went away was the weekend of my diagnosis, when John surprised me with a trip to Monterey and Carmel. What an AWESOME weekend we had. I cried a lot, and laughed a lot, and had an amazing time. And I expect Vegas to be just as wonderful.

Thursday is a VERY, VERY, GOOD day! :)


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

This is me (I wish!) in my pink breast cancer cap, with my blonde wig, and my favorite scarf (that I really have!) that I still wear, even though it's HOT. My good friend Heidi made it for me, and it always makes me feel hugged!

My first blog...

Where do I begin? I guess I'll start with the name of my blog. That's from the Ford Cares Breast Cancer website, and I love it. The saying is...In Every Woman There Is A Fighter, A Survivor, A Believer...A Warrior In Pink.

As of February 8th, I, too, became a Warrior In Pink. I've always been a believer, but now I'm a fighter, too, and I WILL be a survivor.

I'm still very early into the disease and treatment. My surgery to remove the tumor and lymph nodes was February 28th. The surgery went very well, although recovery of the lymph node dissection was rough and my arm is still numb, which is permanent. But it was my FIRST surgery EVER and I loved my surgeon.

I started my chemotherapy in April and just finished my third, which means I'm halfway through! Wooo hooo! I am counting down the days.

I've lost all of my hair, but thankfully NOT my eyelashes or eyebrows! It was quite a shock at first, especially because my head isn't as attractive as one might've hoped, but we've all gotten used to it. My biggest side effect from treatment is fatigue. It's awful. I can barely function for the first week after treatment. This last session was worse, and we found out I'm anemic. I got a booster today, and that should help.

I also had a portacath put in my chest for my chemo, because I don't have good veins in my left arm. That's the only arm that can be used. I LOVE my port! I would recommend it to anyone having chemo. And again, I love my surgeon. He did a wonderful job.

It's been a crazy ride for all of us, but we're a team and we're getting through. And to make things easier on us, my writers group, The Cherries, started a fundraiser for our medical bills! They raised over $5000!!! I was totally blown away when I found out what they'd done for me. They are THE MOST amazing women on the planet. And because of their kindness and generosity, we were able to pay off all our medical bills, except my surgeon! ALL OF THEM!

Even through this very difficult time, God has blessed us SO much and I never doubt his plans for me. He is incapable of letting us down, and through his stripes I shall be healed.

The fight continues, but I'm ready for battle. I AM a Warrior In Pink. And I will survive.